Happy Birthday Mom on your 90th Birthday (Vol 5)

 

Mom with her granddaughters 

Mom with Shanthi at Central Park New York

Mom at Rishikesh 1985

Mom at Chennai 1988

Granddaughters celebrate mom's birthday Mysore 1991

Selfie with mom

At chidambaram with my brother and uncle

 SN

Wedding picture GK Vale studio 1946

Today 10^th June is my dear mother’s birthday. This is a tribute on her 90^th birthday. She died four years back and we still see her alive through memories.

My mother Jayalakshmi known to my relatives as Jayam was a bold woman with a strong will and determination. She was from a rich family background. A Sivarama Iyer my mom’s father from Tirunelveli district (Cheranmadevi) was a first generation highly successful businessman at Madras in the 40s and a distributor of a diversified portfolio of paint, paper and also insurance agent for British companies. He was an allrounder who commanded respect with his towering personality, who can also sing devotional and play harmonium and what not. He had 4 sons and 4 daughters, and my mother was 6^th. Every family has one child with name Sivaraman after my grandfather like mine and we had to establish our identity first each time even now before talking over cellphone as otherwise they mistake for other Sivaraman of this big family!!😊

My dad Raman lived like Lord Rama duty bound to his family. He was academically brilliant and was ranked first in BA from the Madras University. He wanted to study further but could not due to family commitments. After marriage initially my father was working for Tomco in Bombay. Those few years were her happiest years with my father as my mom said to my wife Shanthi.

The rare wedding photo of my parents must be in late 40s taken at GK Vale and Co, a famous photo studio in Mount Road. Only one photo after marriage was allowed in those times. 😃

My father got a transfer to Chennai from Bombay to take up the family responsibilities. His father has retired by then and his parent joined them at Chennai. Being eldest son, my father had to educate all his three brothers until they settled down besides his sister who stayed with my parents for few years with her daughters. It was a joint family system that worked well then, and I can’t believe so many of them lived in a one-bedroom home at VP Koil street Mylapore Chennai!  He worked in the same company till the end and sacrificed his whole life for the welfare of his brothers and sister. He had a premature death at the age of 39 in the 1962 due to tetanus when I was only 6 years old. My father has got me just then  admitted to Vidya Mandir convent in KG after waiting for a year for admission .Later when we saw his diary, I could see his pain over the years at office and his infinite patience with all the domestic issues.

My father’s last wish to my mother was to make her two sons engineers as he could not get the education then. As his death was premature my father has not saved enough money or insurance. Widowed at the age of 30 with 2 boys and zero bank balance my mother did not give up. She was determined to fulfill his dream and what an accomplishment it was!

She took financial help from her brothers and sister and they supported her until my brother graduated as Mechanical Engineer from Annamalai University in 1969. She took the risk of moving to Chidambaram establishing a home there and managing expenses within 300 Rs per month (rent for our apartment at 45 North car street was only Rs 60 per month). Her lord Thillai Nataraja guided her from then on . I had to adjust to a corporation school (Ambalattadi)in Tamil medium at Chidambaram. We lived happily there. Being the middle amongst 8 siblings her amazing quality is to blend with all her brothers and sisters with compassion and with her affection to all. Being a pilgrimage center, our relatives will come anytime and my role as a boy was to take them on a temple tour of Thillai Nataraja. Even within my mother’s big family there were splits in between but she was the only one who was the  bridge and she never took side, a true leadership quality. She blended with all relatives both fathers and mother’s side .

After that my brother took over and I completed my high school and engineering at PSG Tech Coimbatore where my brother worked. She could fulfil my father’s dream finally. It was the challenge which my mother took against odds with courage and risk under most difficult circumstances. Our success in life is due to her.

After my marriage we settled down at Chennai which was her favorite place. We had 2 daughters and being the first girls in the family of boys she was very fond of them. Both my daughters were brought up by their Patti and was dear to her. We moved to Mysore and from there to Hyderabad, Delhi, Bangalore and Chennai from1979 until year 2000 for almost 20 years and she was with us in all these places guiding us.

Due to professional setback I had to take the hard decision to leave India after being almost 20 years after graduation. We moved to USA in the year 2001. She spent the rest of her life with my brother.

She visited US a few times and was so happy to be with my wife and granddaughters. Her favourite serial was “Everyone loves Raymond” and without knowing English she identified herself maybe with mom Marie and her 2 sons. She might have seen more episodes than us! She enjoyed each visit to US and  the last visit was to Virginia .When we visited Central Park during our visit to New York in the year 2009 interviewed by my daughters she told that USA is Sorka bhumi(Heaven) and the systems are great and everything is good .

She used to cook amazing varieties of food mild and tasty and my relatives can vouch for that. She never missed to celebrate a festival and her enthusiasm to make every item planning from the day before never diminished. She sang well Carnatic and devotional songs and her favorite was Maharajapuram Santanam . She loved seeing Tamil movies and a big fan of Shivaji Ganesan. How many times she must have seen Thillana Mohanambal the classic?

Ever since we moved to California, she was not keeping good health and could not come again to US. We had visited India during our family marriages, but my regret is not that frequent as we wished. I spent a few days with her in 2016 and that was my happiest moment. But she has lost the willpower to live by then. Even with her hands trembling she will be making mala for lord Nataraja in the last years with utter devotion. She must have merged with her lord Thillai  Nataraja in 2017.

You mom have achieved everything in your life and I am sure father and you would be in a better place. Everyone has to go one day. It is the good karma of our dear Appa and Amma we are all doing fine with their blessings. She has left so many happy memories for us and we cherish those memories.

 Wherever you are mom (Jayam) be happy!🙏🙏🙏