Memories of my dear Father and Saraswathi Puja! (Vol 14) Down Memory Lane!

My Father Late V S Raman

My Dad V S Raman

Mom and Dad Picture taken on 10Oct 1954

My Dad and Mom Marriage photo taken at GK Vale Mount Road

Me listening to radio photographed by my uncle Sunda

I was only seven years old when my father Raman left this world in the year 1963. Memories of my Dad are only a few images that haunts me at times. He was one who was always wearing white, and the last frozen image is one when I was given rice as obeisance to see his face for the last time. He died premature at the age of 39 and had he lived would have been 97 years old now. He died during auspicious Navarathri on this day of Saraswathi Puja merging with Goddess Saraswathi, leaving my dear mom at age 33 and two sons 15 and 7 years of age!

Academic Brilliance: Like Lord Rama he was the eldest son of my grandparent and he loved his parent and had 3 younger brothers (Sama,Kitcha and Sunda) and one sister. He was academically brilliant and passed in distinction in BA Economics from Hindu college He was ranked first in Madras University in B.A. The Madras University was then extending beyond Tamilnadu, Andhra,Telengana and also part of Kerala and what a remarkable achievement of this brilliant boy from rural part of the Madras State! He came from the modest background from Veeravanallur village in Tirunelveli district. His dream was to become an engineer, but the family could not afford to pay the tuition. He gave up his dream and after completing undergraduate did not pursue further studies. To support his family then living in Tirunelveli, he joined Tata Oil Mills (TOMCO) which was his first and last job. 

Bombay Life: Before marriage he worked in TOMCO HQ at Bombay. His uncle lived in Matunga and my cousins from Matunga said their mother used to send lunch carrier to his office along with their son’s. After marriage my parent moved to Worli and that was the best period in their life. My mom used to say my father had no ego and used to make coffee before she wakes up in the morning. He used to give her Hamam and Lux bath soaps which was luxury items in those times and products of TOMCO. Had they continued their life at Bombay it would have been different. They would have lived happy like everyone. The Bombay office had good potential for growth and with his brilliance he was highly respected and would have been successful in his career. 

Transfer to Chennai: Being the eldest son, he was asked to come back to south as his father was nearing retirement at Tirunelveli and his younger brothers had to be educated. Meanwhile his only dear sister was married to their own uncle and they were in Delhi. My father got the transfer to Madras TOMCO office and that was the beginning of his struggle in life which continued until his death. He rented a home in Mylapore near Anjaneya temple at Sanskrit college at VP Kovil street. 

My Grandparents: My grandparent (Subbier and Kalyani) were wonderful people rare gems. They joined my father soon after my grandfather’s retirement. My grandfather a pious man a Sanskrit scholar did daily puja at home and also did sampradaya bhajan, in the evening throughout his life. The range of his slogas, namavali on each god and bhajans are so rare and with profound meaning. They are also simple to follow also as it should be. I was fortunate to learn from him some of them which are my prayers now. I wonder how and where my grandfather learned all that as the only medium was then radio. My grandmother was from a rich family and her father educated her at a convent in Ooty. She left all her aspirations and spent the next four decades in kitchen in that small house. Her motto she used to tell me later”Aam than Kovil Aduppu taan Swami” meaning House is Temple and stove is God! 

Family Struggle: Soon my father’s younger brothers came from Tirunelveli to our home for studies. His first brother Sama after Intermediate joined TI Cycles and continued to live with us till the end. The next brother Kitcha after his study moved to Baroda and joined Sarabhai’s. Both these brothers were not academically inclined liked my father and that really affected their future professional growth. The last brother Sunda was brilliant like my father an ace photographer who wanted to pursue Engineering like my father. Meanwhile his sister with her two daughters joined my father at our home from Delhi as her husband a hi-flier threw away a good managerial job in Taj Mahal Hotel Delhi. She had no other place to go other than her brother. They lived with us for almost five years until her husband called them back to Delhi. Imagine in a small house a joint family grandparent, my parent and we two children, my aunt and her two daughters and my uncle all living in my father’s income and grandfather’s pension. My mother never had any privacy or freedom in those years at Chennai. My father was facing financial difficulties and mental tension. My father was ready to educate his last brother Sunda in Engineering seeing his interest. A gentleman he was Sunda took up a small mining job at far off Bihar state and left as he did not want to be a burden to his brother. A patriotic citizen my father used to stand wherever jana gana mana was played and followed the Gandhian ideals by wearing Khadi only. 

Madras Office Politics: In the office he faced bigger hurdles. His peers seeing his soft nature and brilliance made his life miserable by acting petty stealing his things and make him run around searching for his stationery and things like that. The Madras office was completely political and not like their Bombay HQ which used to follow Tata culture. As years go by my father was pushed to depression and he became somewhat like John Nash in the movie A Beautiful Mind. My father started suffering from fits of delusion and his decade long battle with schizophrenia. He always started fearing that his office people are following him and going to harm him and used to tell my grandfather his fears. There was no cure for mental illness at that time and he silently suffered. 

Sharing Knowledge: He started studying for ICWA to improve his academics which will help him get a better job. He also started teaching free Accountancy and Mathematics to many of our relatives and friends to share his knowledge. He had infinite patience and was a good mentor for many youngsters. The irony is that all those whom he taught passed in flying colors. With all the mental and family pressure it took him longer to complete Costing exam. He completed the remaining papers following year and was ready to make the change by 1963. 

Diaries: How did I know all this? I was only 7 years then. It was from what I heard from my mother. My father was a blogger like me. His blog was on every day happening which he used to write in his diaries. One corner of the page will be expense statement and the rest of the page he poured his heart on what happened on that day at office and home. These diaries which I saw after so many years made me miserable seeing his lifelong suffering.

KG in Vidya Mandir: My father wanted to educate me in convent. He waited for one extra year to get admission into prestigious Vidya Mandir Mylapore. He wanted me to have head start in English medium. I finished two years of Kinder garden and was about to go to 1st Standard. 

Navarathri 1963: During Navarathri on that fateful year before Saraswathi Puja I accompanied my mother for golus to our relative place and we returned home in the night. My father was not feeling well and having fever. He was given medicine and home therapy. By morning 5am his health became worse, and he could not move the jaws. He had the intuition that he may not survive and called my mother and said “Jayam please take care of these two boys. Make them engineers which I could not become. You should fulfil my dream “. Those were his last words as he had difficulty in speaking after that.

Admission to hospital: My brother rushed to our doctor who is in the same compound whose brother Sridhar is our playmate. The Doctor came late around 11am. Meanwhile my uncle left to office as usual to hand over the keys and returned only by noon. Our doctor after examining said he needs Tetanus injection immediately and gave a recommendation letter for admission in hospital. My mother called her sister and asked for her nephew Ganesan who is influential and who can quickly get him admitted in a nursing home or hospital. Our bad luck he was out of station on that day. By 1pm my father was taken to Royapettah General Hospital. 

End of his journey: He has to wait outside in the general ward to complete formalities for admission until 4pm. By the time he got admission and tetanus injection was given it was 5 pm and the injection was not effective as it was delayed by 12 hours after he became serious. The next day morning on Saraswathi puja my father breathed last. 

WHAT IF: These are the questions still haunt me after so many years 

• My father could have survived if he was admitted early as he had no other complication other than tetanus

 • Why was he taken to Government hospital instead of the best Isabel Private hospital where I was born in the next street. Family members let him down for all that he did to them. Was his life not worth a private hospital so close to home?

 • My father saved on 2 occasions my uncle’s life and begged the family doctor to attend to him. The same brother did not pay back on that day of reckoning 

 • How I wish he lived a few more years to see his sons come up in life and see his grand daughters who are following his ideals now.

 My father was a genius with a beautiful mind who came to this world to complete his karma. His brilliant mind a gift of god which became rusted .His good nature was not appreciated in the office by the inhumans around him and his life was a painful journey. He merged with Goddess Saraswathi on the auspicious Saraswathi Puja.

 His blessing are with us always as we experience now . My mother fulfilled his dream making her sons engineers taking it as a challenge with lot of struggle. My earlier blog (Vol 5 ) is on my mother’s accomplishment

 https://raman1956.blogspot.com/2021/06/happy-birthday-mom-on-your-90th.html 

PRESENT : As coincidence (or miracle) I happened to work in Engineering for Baxter in Maryland USA for six years in the site that was making Meningitis Vaccines (to cure same tetanus) Again it is God’s will towards the end of my career this year working in Engineering at Pfizer manufacturing site that manufactures billions of COVID vaccine that save lives. It is only my Father’s Blessing that his son work on the same Vaccine after becoming an Engineer. That one dose of tetanus had it been given on time would have made the difference. It is fate and destiny. 

 WHEREVER YOU ARE BE HAPPY DAD.😌

PROFOUND POET’S LYRICS: Whenever I am down Tamil lyricist Kannadasan the greatest poet of our time provides answer to all my questions. He was great philosopher and spiritual writer-par excellence

This Kannadasans song “Ninaipathellam Nadanthu vitaal” tuned by Viswanathan Ramamoorthy for the movie “Nenjil oru Aalayam”.This whole movie was taken in a hospital directed by CV Sridhar later made as Dil Ek Mandir in Hindi. 

 This song lyrics is in Tamil and so I have gathered the rough translation in English for people who cannot follow Tamil. 

 If all your thoughts become reality, there is no God!

 If you keep thinking about what already happened, there will never be peace of mind! 

A concluded story does not continue in God’s books!

 A continued story does not end, in a man’s house!

 A heart with thousand gates, in it rise a thousand thoughts Someone comes, someone goes… 

Their comings and goings never noticed

 If just one inhabits inside, there is no suffering 

While the one stays, if another comes in, there will be never be peace of mind 

Where life begins, where and how it ends, this is the path,

 this is the journey… no one knows 

The paths keep changing and finally the journey ends 

If the changes are understood, then one becomes sober

 WE MISS YOU DAD   😞

 WISH YOU ALL A HAPPY SARASWATHI PUJA!  🙏